Change. A word I’m beginning to hear rather often. Growing up. Bodies changing. Minds changing. Learning, Mistake-making, trying and failing.
The idea seems quite daunting, really. I mean, one minute I’m sitting in the washing basket pretending to be a princess and the next I’m listening to a guy talk about how all of his flatmates at university are on drugs. But the thing is, we need change to thrive.
The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
(Emperor of China, Mulan)
After all, (and I know this sounds cheesy) we need to make mistakes to learn from them, and we need to struggle sometimes to get to the places we want to reach.
It’s when the change is out of our control that it feels most difficult. I found this quote from one of my favourite books:
Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody
(The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky)
It’s so true. Life doesn’t and never will stop for anybody. Time will always keep moving and as a result things will continue to change.
The idea of change only works if we are willing to change ourselves. The more open minded you are, the more likely you’ll cope with change. In this past week, I have been trying to break down the walls that have closed my mind off and shut it down into a negative place. One by one, I have taken the parts of my life, had a good look at them and made the changes I needed. It’s going to take some time to make a difference, but I know that it will make me a better person.
The first thing I looked at was the way I organise my time, because I was being swamped by revision and school work and gradually becoming too tired for anything else. It’s not a place I want to put myself in. So I cut down to the essential amount (which is four hours per subject each week) and I have assigned Saturday as NO-REVISION-day. I felt happier simply by making the new timetable.
That was the easy part, I guess. The next thing I did was something I will be working on for a while: my attitude. I have and will always fight the urge to be a perfectionist. I get it from my mum. But I’m trying to push past those stressful thoughts and goals. I have a new mantra, “It’s okay.” It’s okay to eat a ton of biscuits. It’s okay to say something silly and get embarrassed. It’s okay to be the quiet one. It’s okay to fail a test. It’s okay to get upset sometimes.
It’s my version of “fake it til you make it”, because the more I say these things, the more I will believe them. I don’t want to settle for the things I already have – I do want to grow and change and that’s why it’s “okay” rather than good. It’s okay because it’s not the end of the world. Next time it won’t be okay; it will be good. Or even amazing.
Still, like I said, there are things we can’t control. And there are ‘toxic’ people who only seem to hurt others. For instance, I know I’ll never have a great relationship with my dad because of the distance, geographically and mentally I suppose, but I accept that. It might have to stay an “okay” and never quite reach a good. But that in itself is okay. If you get what I mean…
I found this inspiring Apple quote, which I really love:
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do
I don’t know if I’m a rebel or a troublemaker. I do know that I have never quite fitted in and I think I see things differently, so maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am a genius. (Probably not… I’d like to think so, though!)
James Bay-Scars
This song might be about relationships, but I also like to think about the idea of scars in general. Scars remind us of what we have been through. It might hurt to be reminded, but sometimes its worth it to see how far you have come and how much you have changed for the better.
Alvvays- Adult Diversion
This video makes me smile. Hearing the song usually puts me in a good mood, too. I hope that if your day is only an “okay” that maybe the dog in this video will change it to a good.
Dreamer Girl 🙂
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